trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
