People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
