i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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