guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
