please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
