I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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