Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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