i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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