My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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