@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
