I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
