I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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