He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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