This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
wow bdsm is so cute
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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