Non-Jews are for practice
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
