Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize