i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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