Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
