The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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