Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
