I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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