dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
