Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Randomize
