Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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