some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
