her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize