I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
