I've blown a few things in my day
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
