I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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