If that was your dad, he is hot
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
