ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is my gift to your gina
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
