You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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