i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
