She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
