Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
