If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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