she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
