That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize