she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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