video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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