We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
