So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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