Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize