You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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