you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Actions speak louder than pants.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
