i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
