I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
