I got chris browned last night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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