would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
