yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
