I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
