so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize