Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
