i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize