You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
