think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
