Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
