you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
