What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
