so explain again why im purple
no
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
