This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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