I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
