i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
