Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
