420 ftw
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
