brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Randomize
