You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
