Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
