did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize