never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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