I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
