Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
