How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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