We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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