sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
