we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
