I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
