I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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