Just fell off a train. Bad.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
