I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
