BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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